Soul of my Soul
by Nina-Maree
Summary: Lucas meets the embodiment of missing 10 years. New AN in chapter 1 and a drama filled chapter 10 is now up.
1. The provocative, the senile and the lost

_**Soul of my soul**_

_**All disclaimers apply**_

_Lucas meets the physical embodiment of missing 10 years_

**Authors note:**

**Chapter 10 is now up. Those of you asking for drama let me just say you've got it this chapter. I thought that this would go for a few more chapters, but honestly its wrapping up faster then I expected and thus there will only be a couple more chapters. I worked on this for a while and I think my writing isn't what it used to be, so please forgive me. **

**As always reviews are appreciated and I take all feedback seriously.**

_**Chapter one : The provocative, the senile and the lost...**_

The water felt refreshing. It had been a long, long time since Lucas had been in the moon pool. The smell of the salt and the feeling on his face was wonderful. He felt like he was a kid again, and it was great.

"Lucas Play!" his mammal friend happily exclaimed. Lucas said nothing in reply, he simply smiled widely. His eyes lit up in a way that they hadn't done for an equally long time. He held less tension around his eye and his body was relaxed. For a moment, Lucas looked like his 20-something year old self.

_I need to do this more often_

It was the year 2036. The war on Macronesia had been flaring for nearly three years now with no real end in sight. Lucas was a few months off of his official 32nd birthday and for the first time since he enlisted, didn't feel obligated to act beyond any age other then the one he knew. He let himself escape and just enjoy the private moments he had to himself. There was also another factor in play that he was reluctant to acknowledge, sex. He was horny; there was no polite way to put it. Getting older only sharpened his senses for it and shore leave became less about watching guys like Tony and Jim be successful in their pursuits and more about Lucas recognizing that he does in fact, attract the attentions of the fairer sex. Physically Lucas had changed seemingly overnight. He had lost that softness from his teens and now his face was all sharp attractive angles set with brilliant blue eyes and thick blonde hair. While always considered cute when he was younger, now he could easily be called handsome. He was managing to seduce ladies a little more often nowadays.

The thought made him grin. He felt energized by it, almost hyperactive, He bounded about the boat like a Tigger gone rouge, for once in his life, he couldn't focus on anything. Lucas even found himself speaking out of turn on the bridge and then laughing at himself as a result, prompting of course, a stern response for his captain.

"Something amusing, Mr. Wolenczak?"

Lucas gave himself another laugh as he laid backwards into the water, letting it relax all of his tension. Darwin nudged at him impatiently. He had been waiting for Lucas to do something other than swim continuously in circles. Darwin didn't understand his friends need to expend his energy. Eventually, Darwin gave up, swimming off to the sound of clicks and whistles that the vocorder couldn't translate. Lucas looked about surprised by Darwin's actions, finding it both scientifically interesting and socially amusing he was doing the dolphin equivalent of storming off in a huff. Nice one Darwin.

"Lucas!"

The loud voice made Lucas jump. He finally managed to unwind till that voice came. The echo and the shock made him tense up again. He swashed about in the water to see who had rudely interrupted his relaxation. Before him was his former room mate. Tony had his hands on his hips and looked rather serious.

"What Tony!" Lucas responded, agitated.

"Don't you answer your PAL? I've been buzzin' you for the last 10 minutes." Tony was truly frustrated with Lucas, _that's odd_ Lucas thought to himself. Truth was he actually had no idea where his PAL was, but dare not actually tell anyone. It wasn't really like Lucas to lose things.

"Sorry, I must not have heard it." Lucas apologized. Tony rolled his eyes at his young friend. He had noticed Lucas was acting a little "beside himself" lately.

"What's with you, Wolenczak?"

"There's nothing with me, Tony,"

"Ha! Riiight... listen, the new recruits are arriving and Hudson wants all off duty officers to help out at the docking bay,"

Lucas rolled his eyes. He swam to the edge of the moon pool and pulled his dripping wet self out before flopping onto the floor like a dead fish.

"I hate new crew," Lucas complained.

Tony didn't like Lucas when he had so much unfocused energy. He was actually exhausting for the most part and he made Tony feel old despite there being less then 5 years between them. It was amusing though, it was nice to see Lucas could be an average guy. Tony shook his head in a manner that reminded him of his mother and leaned down to pull wet Lucas to his feet. Grabbing his slippery arm, he pulled Lucas.

"C'mon Luc!" he strained; Lucas continued to imitate a dead fish, a very large, heavy dead fish. Tony finally gave up, letting whatever part of Lucas was partially lifted off the floor drop back onto it.

"Fine, you want to get onto Hudson's even worser side, stay right there, but I ain't going down with ya Wolenczak."

Lucas propped himself to a sitting position, looking at Tony and his frustrated eyes. Lucas frowned curiously,

"I thought Lonnie taught you how to speak?"

Tony returned the frown on Lucas's face. Lucas knew very well Lonnie taught Tony to read.

"She taught me to read!" he exclaimed, insulted.

Lucas did like ribbing Tony when he got the chance, but only to get a little of his own back for all the years they shared quarters and having to put up with Tony's music, posters and mess. He picked up his towel and left Tony cursing at him in Italian. Something he had taken to doing when one day he forgot to turn off his headset and cursed like the proverbial sailor after Hudson dressed him down for a dangerous maneuver in his sub fighter. Safe to say no one's mother would be receiving insults in English ever again.

000

The docking bay was a mess. Bags, shipping crates and cartons of food and supplies littered the area like a war zone. People were wandering aimlessly without a clue as to where they were supposed to go. Commander Ford and Lieutenant O'Neill were trying their best to direct everyone in the room, but were not having much luck. Desperate for some order, they were both very relieved to see Tony arrive. He entered the mass and looked the place over; he could not see Jonathan and Tim who were barely a few feet away.

"Tony!" Tim cried out, he could see Piccolo was starting to adapt the same lost look most of the new crew had.

Tim's voice was barely audible but Tony managed to hear it. He spotted the two waving their arms furiously. He smiled and hurried to their aid.

"Here Tony, take a manifest and get these people to sign in," the commander instructed, jamming a slim computer tablet into Tony's chest.

"Yes, sir," Tony hissed in reply, he detested manifest duty, it was annoying and the new enlistments all had an eager happiness about them, so very excited to be aboard. It was nothing like his arrival on the massive ship, maybe he was a little envious his coming aboard wasn't something he could have gotten excited about. He saluted the commander and disappeared into the crowd.

Ford shook his head in frustration. The shipment of new crew were supposed to arrive one shuttle a day for the week, but with the Chaodai attacking Macronesia and Macronesia "conflicting" with the UEO _seaQuest_ pushed for a early arrival on behalf of everyone. Most of the new crew was so fresh out of the academy they hadn't had time to dry from their sub fighter training. They were young, some of them even as young as 18. The UEO had searched the confederations for talented/skilled recruits and sailors who showed an aptitude for small, fast submersibles when given fast tracked training and pressed into commission before they could say United Earth Oceans organization. Ford briefly reminisced about how young Lucas was when he came aboard, but he was a scientist. He hadn't been sent to seaQuest to destroy her enemies.

On the thought of Lucas...where is he?

"Wolenczak, report to docking bay immediately," the commander ordered over his PAL.

"Already on my way sir," came the static voice on the other end.

Moments passed before Lucas' small frame filled the docking bay entrance. He was dressed in his blue jump suit and his wet hair was combed neatly off his face. He looked fresh and happy, despite the mess before him. He leaned into the entrance looking about for someone he recognized. Not too distant from him he saw the commander checking things off a tablet. With what seemed like an effortless action, he glided over to his commander.

"Commander," Lucas spoke to get his attention.

"AHH, Lucas! Here" Ford immediately responded to Lucas's presence with a tablet computer.

"Find the people on this list, make sure they are who they say they are then tell them where their quarters are located" he ordered.

Lucas frowned at the list. Names and photos scrolled before him.

"How am I supposed to find these people?" Lucas questioned the Commander's plan.

"You know Lucas, you're a smart guy, work it out."

Before Lucas had the chance to protest at the seemingly impossible task, Ford cut him off.

"Dismissed lieutenant"

Lucas gave him a squinty eye look before shuffling off into the crowd.

This was going to take forever.


	2. The grass under the snow

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter Two : The grass under the snow**_

To my Grandson,

There is an old proverb that says:

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

This is a letter I should have written you a long time ago.

Please forgive its lateness. I also ask for your forgiveness in what you are about to read.

My boy, I am sorry to tell you, but these things you have come to believe as your family are not all as they appear.

There have been many times in your sadness for the loss of your mother and father that I wished I had the strength in myself to tell you the truth, the truth of your heritage, the truth of your family.

You were born into this world to a mother that could not bare your innocence and a father that does not know of your existence.

I know that your grandfather and I explained to you that your father left your mother after discovering her pregnancy with you.

This was not at all the case. We told you this to protect you. I now see in hindsight it was a stupid and selfish decision that was made for the sake of your grandfather's and my reputation more than you or your mother's own well being.

Another foolish mistake was never telling your real father of your birth. As to this day, he does not know of your existence or your mother's death.

I beg you as you go out in your search for your place in the world that you tread carefully. While it has come to my understanding that your father has grown into a good man he was always young at heart, therefore his reaction to your news will most certainly be unpredictable at best; but in retrospect, I also respect that fact you may not take my advice as my judgment is appallingly flawed. Regardless I have laid this path out before you in hope that it will fill the emptiness you have inside yourself. Whether you choose to follow it is, I am sad to say entirely up to you.

Once again I am deeply sorry.

All my love and sorrow, Mona.


	3. Don't believe the face you see

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter 3: Don't believe the face you see**_

Through the darkness of the cold ocean the silhouette of the majestic flag ship emerged. Grand in every aspect of the word, she is beautiful. He could remember first seeing her in New York harbor. She looked spectacular then too. The skyline of the legendary city shadowing the ship was a sight that has to been seen if one were to completely understand why it would move a person in a way. In such a way that would cause you to want to be a part of it. Be a part of something great.

_Wow, those recruitment advertisements really work_.

But being a part of something greater than himself was something that he was certain of. He felt like he was genetically predisposed to do great things with his life, with his talents, and talents he had.

Finishing top of his class at the UEO naval academy and setting a new training records for fastest response times in both digital and wet sub fighter simulation, Jed Talus was bound to be a force to be reckoned with. At only 18, he graduated with the ranking junior grade lieutenant was immediately placed on _seaQuest_ as a sub fighter pilot. While his mental success had come some what as a surprise, he was no stranger to all things fast! Back home he had plenty of experience with anything that had an engine. Fast was generally how he liked it. He handled speed with an expert skill that came completely natural to him. And like most teenage boys, he was fearless.

The shuttle moaned with the changing weight of the ocean on its back as it slowly descended upon home aboard the _seaQuest_. Jed gazed quietly about the room. Everyone was bustling excitedly. A security officer of large build and brawny voice waved his hands downward, signaling everyone to take their seat. As the room became a hush with dull whispers, the security officer began to speak

"Please be seated and make sure you are buckled in. Our E.T.A is 5 minutes, when you board _seaQuest_, please watch your step, we don't need anyone slipping on water and breaking something," He paused momentarily; cocking an eyebrow to make sure everyone caught what he was saying.

"You will be greeted with a detail crew who will sign you in and assign you to your quarters. I suggest you listen because they are only going to tell you once,"

He paused again, this time to breathe in deeply, what he had to say next was equally important.

"DO NOT exit the docking bay until you have been signed in and confirmed, doing so will result in your immediate departure from the _seaQuest_," the security officer nodded to signal his speech was complete and turned away from his audience to talk quietly to the sub pilot as he docked the launch.

The new crew slowly made their way up the metal ladder, at the top they were confronted with the hissing of the opening bay doors. For the first time the reality of the situation, that they were aboard the flagship of the U.E.O. in the midst of a messy feud that had no clear end in sight. The mania of the docking bay only made the dire circumstances all the more apparent.

"There is no turning back now," a young crew member muttered dejectedly.

"Unless you leave the docking bay with out checking in," Jed laughed as he stepped into the docking bay. He was stopped by Commander Ford.

"Is there something you find amusing about our security procedures, Mr..." he spoke to the boy, spinning him around by his arm to read his name and rank.

"Mr. Talus."

Jed glanced to see he had just ticked off a very superior officer. He straightened up immediately and saluted his commander.

"No, sir," Jed diligently replied.

"Maybe he's a spy, Commander."

Tony had witnessed the youth's insolence and it was always good for them to learn their places fast. It was after all, his first day as a _seaQuest_ crew member. Proper introductions were necessary.

"No I am not sir, I can assure you," Jed defended.

Jonathan knew what Tony was doing and after nearly an entire day of snooty newbie's, felt it was appropriate to make an example of this young man.

"How can we know this for sure?" Jonathan very seriously asked. Crossing his arms over his chest and looking down his nose at the boy.

"Because sir if I was a spy I would need to be invisible, not noticed. I have already gained the attention of both the executive officer and warrant officer with sub fighter insignia, someone I'll be working with sir. Therefore I am not being a very successful spy, assuming I was one, which I am not. Sir," Jed held his posture and nervously waited for a response. On the inside he was completely intimidated, but didn't dare let it show.

Ford frowned and Tony's mouth was gaping open a little, neither of them expected that. Did this kid just get smart? Tony liked him already. Ford leaned into the boy's ear and whispered.

"I would be very mindful of what you say in the future, lieutenant, Or you might find yourself off this ship, spy or not,"

"Yes, sir," Jed responded.

"Now, Mr. Talus," Ford reformed his Commander stance, "Lieutenant Lucas Wolenczak over there has the T's, you have to go over there to sign in," Ford pointed to a busy Lucas. He was actually surprised he had been able to hold his attention on this task for so long. Jonathan put it down to the new assortment of female officers whose last names' started with T.

"Thank you, sir," Jed respectfully offered.

"Dismissed," Ford announced. He watched Jed relax his arm, dive for his bag and get out of the commander's face ASAP. Ford shook his head before returning to his previous duties.

Jed waited patently in the line. There was what felt like a hundred people there before he was. But it was more like 5. He had been patient for so long already; it was beginning to wear thin.

His stare bounced around the room. Up at the lights, back down to the metal grate, off other people's faces, onto the commanders' face...

'Mental note to self, avoid Commander, he thinks you're a spy,' Jed muttered to himself as he glared at the commander. Ford looked up from his notes to lock eyes with Jed, who quickly averted his stare to the ceiling like he hadn't even been staring at him.

"Next!" an irritated voice shouted out. Jed's attention snapped back to Lucas, who had his hands and eyes opened wide, he looked annoyed.

'_I'm just ticking everyone off today aren't I'_ he thought to himself as he stepped up to Lucas.

Lucas shook his head, glanced the boy over quickly and turned his attention back to his board.

"That's a name you don't see very often" Lucas muttered to the boy, his eyes down on the list in front of him trying to find his surname and I.D. number.

"Same could be said for your name" Jed said bluntly. Lucas looked up and glared at Jed for a long second.

"How do you say it again?" He continued. He was genuinely curious about Lucas' name because it seemed very familiar. The commander had said it, what was it again?

"Wolen-CHECK" Lucas pronounced like he had his entire life when people mangled his name trying to say every letter phonetically. Jed eyed Lucas carefully, trying to size him up. Looking the older officer over, He was slightly taller then Lucas, but the same type of build. He didn't observed Lucas's name and rank immediately like he had done to everyone who confronted him because he was too busy challenging him like most men when they are young and cocky. There was something off about this one: his name. He saw it written on his uniform and he recognized it. Reading it was different to hearing it, very different. Jed stared in disbelief, this couldn't have been happening.

"Any relation to the Talus' in New York?" Lucas followed quickly after answering Jed's question.

"Uh, no?" Jed answered in an uneasy voice, Lucas could feel the boy stating at him and didn't really appreciate it. He lifted his head to face him and what he saw was quite a surprise. Jed looked as white as a ghost. His mouth was open slightly and he stared at Lucas's badge. Lucas looked down to see his name, yep, right where he saw it last. He didn't understand the boy's fascination with it, or his pale appearance.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked concerned. Jed stared for a moment longer before responding.

"I'm fine," the kid was overtaken by a sudden seriousness. His voice was low and he looked rattled.

"Can I have my consignment information please, I would like to get out of here," he continued.

"Wouldn't we all," Lucas watched him for a moment longer before handing him a printed slip from the computer with his room details and _seaQuest_ security protocol.

"Take it easy okay," Lucas assured the boy before he moved on to the next person.

Jed watched him become pre occupied with the next newbie. He couldn't stop his staring. He couldn't believe what had just happened.

Jed breathed in deeply before exiting the confusion of the docking bay.

Breaking free from the crowd was like bursting to breathe after holding your breath for as long as you possibly could. Ironically Jed suddenly found it hard to breath despite the freedom of the open corridor.

"Hey, nice comeback on the commander," a cheerful Tony exclaimed, slapping the kid on the back.

"You gotta be straight with people around..." Tony cut himself off as he caught sight of a young man who looked like he was about to cry.

"Hey, are you okay? Listen, the commander was just having a go at ya, no need to get upset, he doesn't really think you're a spy, well at least I think he doesn't," he tried assure the boy.

"It's not that," Jed said gasping for air. He was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Then what's the matter?" Tony was very concerned with the boy's sudden onset of stress. He could see his distress in trying to breathe and thanks to a recent first aid course instinctively grabbed behind his head and pushed it down towards his knees.

"Long slow breaths" Tony encouraged. Jed felt himself losing control and mentally put an end to it in an instant. He was ok after about a minute.

"I think it was a mistake to come here," he said softly more to himself oblivious of Tony being in earshot.

"Why is that?" Tony was still confused.

Jed shook his head. He straightened himself up and rubbed at his eyes.

"It's not your problem. Excuse me." Jed turned from a concerned Tony and headed off to find his room.

"Okay, try to relax hey!" Tony responded, throwing his arms into the air and heading back to the docking bay.


	4. before I walk on fire

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter four : Before I walk on fire.**_

" Tink tink tink"

The rapping at the door made Lucas Jump. He was working at one of his computers; or at least he was trying. A dozen chat windows and various pages of typing and a small window of algorithms was his way of occupying every aspect of his over-active self. His leg jumped about like it had a mind of its own and he hummed to music in his head. He was putting so much effort into trying to subdue something in himself that when the echoing of a visitor came knocking, he was taken aside by it. Lucas stared at the door a minute to make sure the sound wasn't a part of the song in his head.

"Tink tink tink"

Again.

Nope, it was real. Now that it was confirmed, it was safe to dive on the door.

Lucas swung the metal door inward, curious now to see who had been tapping at his door. There in front of him, by complete surprise was the young man he had signed in earlier. Lucas frowned and tilted his head a little to one side.

"Can I help you?" He asked narrowing his eyes. Jed breathed in deeply and spoke his words quickly. It was like he was hoping Lucas wouldn't hear what he had to say, but then that would defeat his purpose for being there.

"I lied to you..." Lucas didn't understand where this was coming from and gave Jed a blank face.

"Well, I didn't exactly lie, I bent the truth,"

"Really, Concave or convex?"

"What?" Jed replied.

"Which way did you bend the truth?" Lucas said sarcastically.

Jed screwed his face up entirely, this was serious for Jed and Lucas was making jokes. Lucas noticed the boy was uneasy and made a serious face to match his company.

"When you asked me if I knew the Talus' from New York, I lied,"

Lucas gave his head a little shake as if to say and...?

"So you DO know them, good for you," Lucas said with a smile. Hinting for the boy to go away, Lucas was already bored with his presence. But he wasn't going to have such luck.

Jed gave Lucas puppy eyes, he felt helpless and guilty from what he was about to unload onto this guy, but he needed to tell him before he lost his nerve. He was fearless in so many ways, why couldn't he be fearless now? He felt sick with nerves. His heart pounded furiously and he felt that he was on the verge of a panic attack. Telling himself to relax, Jed breathed in long and deep. Lucas watched him curiously again, trying to work out what was wrong with this boy. This kid was odd, really odd.

_Why do I always attract the odd ones?_

"Can I come in? I have something to show you," Jed politely asked with all his sanity.

"Uh, I guess so," Lucas shrugged and he gestured for the odd boy to enter his dwelling. Jed walked in and found a spot for himself on the end of Lucas' bed. He took in the sight of the quarters. There was a lot of stuff in this room. Computers mainly, but there also books, uniforms on the floor and notes stuck to everything. It didn't look like the room of a 30 something' year old, but then again, Lucas looked good for his "age". Jed was surprised the room was in the state it was, the officers on this boat were odd. Maybe it was a submariner thing? He reached up to his chest and unzipped the front of his uniform, pulling out a piece of paper that looked like it had been unfolded and folded an endless amount of times. Lucas eyed it with interest as he sat himself down on the chair he was sitting at before the interruption. Jed decided it was time to break the silence in the room.

"We moved to Houston when I was about 3 and that's where I grew up, but I was born in Buffalo" he said to Lucas.

"Oh" Lucas nodded. Blissfully unaware of the kid's exact point, his mind was beginning to wander again.

"Do you know a Mona and Gill Talus?" Jed quizzed his older acquaintance. Lucas' face became a serious one as his mind suddenly focused, remembering the names.

"Yes," Lucas said bluntly.

That was all the confirmation that Jed needed. He held out the piece of paper in his nervous hands, waiting for Lucas to take it. He felt so worried, he had no idea how Lucas was going to react to what he was about to read. Truth was he didn't know very much at all about Lucas.

"I think you should read this,"

Lucas watched Jed for a long moment. He had a bad feeling about what was going on and didn't like it one bit. He didn't want to take the paper from Jed, but it is in his nature to find answers and at the moment, he had far too many questions to let it go, or to simply ask him to leave.

Lucas slowly reached out and removed the paper from the boy's hand. He held it for a moment, deciding if he wanted to read what was inside. He could see pale letters on the outside of the paper. It was a soft and floppy. Lucas could feel the slight texture of grain glide under his finger tips as he slowly began to unfold it. Upon its fully opened state the paper revealed that it was in fact a birth certificate. The name Jed Talus was printed at the top. Born to Amelia Talus was the next thing he read. Lucas felt himself go light-headed as he read the date. He blinked hard.

"There is a letter on the back," Jed said softly.

Lucas looked up at the boy in front of him in disbelief. Examining Jed's face carefully, Lucas could see his own features before him. His mouth, his nose, his bone structure. He could see Amelia in this boy as well, she was right there, clear as the day in his eyes. He turned the certificate over. As he read Mona's letter, Lucas felt him self becoming overwhelmed. This was too much for him to take in. He closed his eyes.

Jed waited patiently for Lucas to say something to him, for maybe a reaction, or at the very least a look, something that told him that Lucas understood what he had there in front of him, and why Jed was acting so very peculiar in his presence.

"Well?" He asked cautiously.

"I'm almost 22," Lucas's voice seemed angry; Jed could definitely tell that he was upset.

"Do you know that? I am almost 22 years old." Lucas opened his eyes to see that same confused look on Jed's face that he saw earlier, he knew that this kid didn't really understand.

"Don't you mean 32?" Jed questioned. Why was his age suddenly an issue?

Lucas stopped for a minute, staring at Jed and his confused face. He didn't confirm Jed's correction. Physically there was only 4 years between them, and it wasn't like families who had loved ones in cryo-statsis that on some level still experience the time that has passed. Lucas was 10 years behind because between time and space, those years were lost in the void. He was an older brother maybe, but not a father. Jed was not his son. He couldn't be his son because not enough time has passed, it just hasn't. Lucas began to shake.

"I need some water."


	5. Chinchilla confessions

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter 5 : Chinchilla confessions**_

"A chinchilla farm?" Lonnie had that high pitched tone in her voice that indicated with irritating clarity that she was confused by Tony's proposition.

"Yeah, a chinchilla farm," he confirmed for her.

"Tony, they don't make clothes out of chinchilla fur anymore, there would be no point in farming them," She annoyingly continued.

"Naw I don't want to kill them, they're a big craze up world! My cousin Angie has like three of the little rodents. She says all her friends have them, if you ask me, they're on their way back in," Tony happily pointed out.

"When were they ever in?" Jonathan added his two cents to the conversation with an irrepressible smile, this was stupid. Tony's get rich quick idea wasn't exactly viable, but it was amusing.

"I had a chinchilla once, his name was Cerberus. The neighbor's cat ate him," Tim sadly reminisced out loud.

"Cerberus as in the hound of Hades?" Lonnie laughed, she couldn't help it. She could see Tim's sadness in memory of his lost chinchilla and felt apologetic, but it was hard to show as she laughed.

"Awe, I'm sorry, Tim," Lonnie offered as she patted his back. Tim glared at Lonnie hard. If looks could kill, well, her head probably would have exploded a long time ago.

"I'm sorry Tony, I have considered your proposal and I have to say I am not interested in investing in any chinchilla farms in the immediate future," Jonathan joked.

Tony made a _"c'mon"_ face with his hands and mouth wide open as he watched Ford get up from his seat and head off to the mess hall exit. After he was sure Jonathan had well and truly left, he turned his _"c'mon"_ face to Lonnie. She screwed her face up and shook her head and hands in a very distinct NO motion as she backed her chair out to follow in her commanders footsteps.

"No imagination on this tug I swear," Tony muttered disappointed as he slowly turned his attention to his last victim. He scratched that idea when he saw Tim still sulking about Cerberus. He decided to turn his attention to the room,

"there's gotta be someone in here that thinks this is a good idea," he thought to himself as he eagerly sniffed out someone. That someone happened to be Lucas.

Lucas entered the mess hall looking rather distressed, but Tony didn't mind, he assumed Lucas had just come down off one of his hormone highs and felt it was fine for him to swoop him. Bounding out of his chair with excitement, he looped over to Lucas, who was now standing near a water cooler slowly getting him self a drink. Upon closer inspection Tony could see Lucas looked more then just distressed, he was in a daze and robotic in his movements. Something was wrong. Tony altered his approach from enthusiastic _"gimme money" _to a concerned friend.

"Hey Lucas," He spoke quietly.

Lucas almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of Tony's voice. He was tuned out to the world and wasn't expecting what felt like a verbal onslaught. Lucas didn't say anything in response he just looked at Tony, pale and wide eyed. Tony could see his in his friend's face that he was indeed very stressed about something. This wasn't normal Lucas behavior, or at least not lately.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked concerned.

Lucas' mouth moved, but no words came out. He could feel himself failing and diverted his line of sight to the floor. His body began to shake again, just like it had earlier.

"Are you shaking? Luc, what's the matter?" Tony's voice became increasingly urgent with Lucas' lack of response. He watched his friend breath in harshly and return his gaze to Tony's face.

"Can we go somewhere private?" Lucas finally spoke.

000

Lucas leaned far over the side of the moon pool, gazing at his reflection in the calm water. The area was so deserted not even Darwin was anywhere to be seen.

"You gonna tell me what's going on now, Wolenczak?" Tony asked sternly. He was becoming progressively more concerned with his friend.

"That boy, the one I signed in today,"

"Lucas, you signed in a whole lot of guys today..."

"No, you and Ford were talking to him,"

Tony thought for a moment, trying to put a face to who Lucas was talking about, then, like a ball to the head it hit him.

"Oh, the spy," He recalled. Lucas gave him an odd look.

"He's not really a spy; Ford and me were just playing with him. I'm not sure if he knew that though, I saw him in the corridor after you signed him in, he looked sorta messed up... like he was about to cry or somethin',"

Lucas thought this new information over, messed up?

"I can't remember his name, T something... Telis, Taless?"

"Talus, Jed Talus," Lucas corrected him.

"Yeah, that's him. Is he why you're all weird? Did he do something to you Luc?"

Lucas continued to stare into the water, he nodded slowly. Tony was beginning to really worry, what has this kid done?

"Lucas, say something, what happened." It was easy to gauge Tony's level of concern by what he called Lucas. When he said his actually name, the level is high.

"He came to my room, he gave me this." Lucas still had the letter with him. He had escaped the room so suddenly he didn't even realize it until he was at the water cooler.

Reaching into his leg pocket he pulled the letter out. It was scrunched up more so then folded. Tony reached and took it from Lucas. He pulled the ball of paper open and read the letter.

"What is this?" Tony asked.

"It's a letter, he gave it to me, I know that family," Lucas twirled his finger signaling Tony to turn it over. Tony complied and read the birth certificate; he noticed the boy's father's name was absent.

"Yeah, so what does it mean? Is this kid trying to say you're his father or something?" Tony felt like laughing at the idea and found himself holding any snickering back. Lucas lifted himself off the rail and faced Tony. His eyes were begging for Tony's help. Tony could see he hit the nail on the head.

"C'mon Lucas, you believe this kid? He's probably just messing with you."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, some people are just messed up like that?"

"I don't know Tony, he seems too, I don't know, sincere, you said yourself that he was all weird after he met me..." there was a pause between them as Tony thought it over.

"This kid really thinks you're his father? Where is he now?"

"He's in my room; I had to get out of there," Tony could see Lucas was beginning to shake again. He moved over to his friend to offer him some comfort.

"Lucas, sit down before you fall down," Tony instructed. That was it; Lucas finally gave in to the rapid onset of emotional exhaustion and let himself collapse onto the floor.

"I don't know what to do Tony," he stuttered as he curled his legs to his body. Tony looked sympathetic, in all his wisdom; he had nothing to offer Lucas. He felt bad he couldn't give Lucas any advice; truth was he had never seen Lucas like this. Even after his father's death, Lucas was never this erratic with his feelings, or his distress. But then again, neither had to deal with this kind of news, assuming it was true.

"We could do a blood test, see if he is your son," Tony suddenly suggested.

"You mean a paternity test?" Lucas replied in that voice he always uses to correct Tony. Tony usually hated it, but it confirmed that old Lucas was still there.

"Yeah," he continued, "We could do it, and then if you're really his father, you can freak out about it then." Lucas actually gave a little laugh at Tony's comment.

"Hey Lucas," Lucas knew by the tone in Tony's voice that he was about to ask something personal, or something stupid, or something stupidly personal. He didn't give Tony a verbal response, just sat waiting.

"I always figured you were, y'know, until you met that Sandra chick."

Lucas smiled again, he briefly reminisced to himself. He remembered telling Juliana that he was as well, but not until she answered him first. It was any wonder Lucas backed out.

"Tony, I was in college when I was 14."

"Yeah, but I thought you were there because you were smart."

"I was smart; I can't help it if things break."

Tony nodded long and slow, he understood that concept. He laughed to himself with amazement; he was surprised Lucas had never shared this with him when they shared a room.

"You could have told me this stuff Wolenczak." Tony sounded like a big brother more so than a friend. He briefly reminded Lucas of Ben and his _"being stupid"_ speech, but Lucas never told Ben either. He liked it better when people assumed he was good and pure, less question, less responsibility talks although he could have used one, less hassles. He was, after all surrounded by 200+ adults all telling him what to do.

"I know, but I didn't want too." Lucas looked like he was beginning to calm down a bit, so Tony felt it was best to keep the talking going.

"What was this, Amelia, like?"

Lucas gave Tony a look like 'didn't you hear what I just said,' but he knew what Tony was trying to do.

"Did you love her?" Tony egged on. Lucas laughed abruptly at Tony's words.

"No, I didn't," Tony patiently waited for Lucas to elaborate, raising his eye brows slightly. Lucas rolled his eyes, he knew Tony would persist until he told him.

"She was a good friend. I was taking a week off of my studies and went back home to Buffalo because my parents were moving out, she lived next door to me. We got talking about certain things, and then it just kind of happened." Lucas sounded like it had been no big deal, despite the fact there was a boy in his room claiming to be his son.

"Things don't just happen Lucas!" He poked fun at Lucas.

"I guess not," Lucas laughed a little.

"No offense Wolenczak, but you can be pretty dumb sometimes. Why didn't you guys do something?"

"I didn't really realize until it was a little too late, I mean I was like 14 you don't really know what you are doing at 14. She told me not to worry, that she would take care of it. I guess I thought it was no big deal."

Before Tony could respond to Lucas' poor judgment, the hissing of a nearby hatch sounded and a young man entered the moon pool area. Lucas and Tony stood up from their place on the metal grate and watched the intruder approach. It was Jed, looking worried and agitated.

"There you are!" he yelled relieved, running over to Lucas.

Tony jumped in out of instinct, he had just gotten his friend to settle down before this unwanted interruption.

"Hey kid, you wanna give him a minute," Tony defended.

"I hardly think you're in a position to give me orders, officer." Jed quickly snapped back.

Tony's eyes widened with surprise, the way Jed said it instantly reminded Tony of Lucas.

"Well, he sounds like you" Tony muttered.

Lucas shot his friend a, _'you're not helping'_ look before he turned his attention back to Jed.

"I'm getting out-ranked by a kindergartener Luc, give me a break." Tony wanted Lucas to defend him. His shoulders up and his arms out Tony gave Lucas his 'be a friend' act.

Lucas turned his frustrated look back on Jed, who seemed to immediately back down because of it.

"You don't come here, tell me what you have, and then insult my friend...someone who is trying to help me deal with the news of you, its disrespectful and rude."

Lucas blinked hard for a moment, did that just happen? He felt himself go all parental and mature for a moment"

"Disrespectful and rude?" Tony repeated.

Lucas rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. Tony gave himself a hearty laugh as he slapped Lucas on the back.

"I think that's my cue to go, I will talk to ya later Lucas. You buzz me if you need anything ok. ANY thing"

Tony shot Jed one last glare before leaving the room. A question suddenly came to Lucas' mind.

"What made you decide it was my name missing on that certificate?" Everything had happened so quickly Lucas didn't know what exactly it was about their interactions that prompted Jed to approach him.

"Your surname, Pappy gave it to me as I left. He didn't tell me anything just wrote it down on the envelope that had the birth certificate in it. I didn't even give it that much thought at first,"

"That's a long shot, isn't it?" Lucas was surprised.

"I guess, but then you asked me about the Talus' from New York and then I had to know."

"Why didn't you just check the Internex if you had my name?"

"I only had your last name until now and I did, after I left the docking bay I Googled you. It's the first time I had access to any kind of computer since I left home. You're the right age and your father lived next door to my grandparents in Buffalo. I even studied some of your work at the academy. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I couldn't believe my chances"

Lucas couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt flighty again; he wanted Jed to stop talking. Wanted him to just go away.

"I can't talk about this anymore,"

The confidence that Lucas had moments earlier seemed to have all but vanished as he tried to face up to Jed.

"Then when are you going to talk to me?" He responded, agitated.

"When I'm ready," Lucas replied bluntly.

"You know, you can't avoid me, this ship is only so big." He reminded Lucas.

"I've been here a lot longer then you and I know every inch of this ship, I could lose you if I wanted too."

"Stem to stern I would pit my knowledge against anyone's." Jed boldly retorted.

There was no winning with this kid; Lucas couldn't glare any harder if he tried. And he was trying. The submissive behavior Jed displayed earlier was no where in sight and a rush of memories of Lucas when he was 16 was explaining why. But Lucas had his reasons for being a sarcastic, bullshitting kid, which made him wonder about Jed's reasons.

"What are you thinking about," Jed queried as he watched Lucas frown. The words were foreign to Jed; he usually couldn't care less what anyone was thinking about. But there Lucas was, confused and staring into nothing; he could read him like a tragically open book.

"I was just thinking, was I this much of a smart ass when I was your age?" He quickly responded. Jed laughed out loud at Lucas's words.

"Speaking of age" Jed said as his laughter subsided,

Lucas froze. He held himself tight as he waited for Jed to continue.

"What's with this whole, I am about to turn 22 business?" He asked. His tone was mildly playful, like he found it funny Lucas couldn't remember his age or something. Lucas had been so caught up that he'd forgotten what he had said to Jed earlier in his quarters.

"OH, that…" he said, surprised.

"Uh, it's a long a complicated story, but the short of it is I was in relativity stasis for 10 years and for conversation purposes, I turn 32 next month,"

Jed nodded like something Lucas said jogged his memory.

"I heard about that at the academy; bit strange putting the entire crew into stasis for 10 years and then flip around like you're trying to find them,"

"Yeah," Lucas said as he laughed nervously,

"The UEO are an odd bunch." It was a lame joke in an even lamer attempt for Lucas to cover up his not so convincing, UEO certified explanation for his missing 10 years.

Lucas sensed that Jed wasn't entirely convinced with his explanation, like he could really blame him, he wouldn't be convinced either. He was surprised that there was guilt in not being able to tell Jed the truth, but then what?

_'I was on another planet for a week, but it was really more like 10 years'_ Right, and while we're at the revelations, I'm really 22 years old.'

In all honesty, Lucas was very doubtful he could be a father figure for Jed, considering how loose the term _'father figure'_ was for Lucas. He wondered how he could give him advice on something as his father when there was a good chance Jed might be the one to have the experience first, and then who would be better equipped to advise who?

The thought was exhausting.

Consequently Jed was here on _seaQuest_ as a solider, someone who would sacrifice himself for the greater good, not as his son.

To add insult to already severe mental injury, Lucas could tell by the patch on Jed's arm that he was a sub fighter pilot, so now, not only was he a solider who would sacrifice himself for the greater good, he was pretty much guaranteed the sacrifice. The patch also confirmed that he was crazy. It was bad enough Piccolo was a pilot, now Lucas had the luxury of biting his nails every time Jed got sent out in a heavily armed can.

Lucas was suddenly hit with another revelation, death.

"You can't say it, can you?" Jed softly asked. Lucas was surprised by the question.

"Say what?"

"Whatever it is your thinking." He continued.

Lucas didn't respond to Jed's observation, just smiled in confirmation.

"I need to talk to her, Mona." He said, mildly changing the subject.

Jed smiled crookedly and nodded. He moved his hand to a pocket to take out a small notepad and miniature pen.

"I'll give you the number."

000

His long fingers tapped at the number pad with a precision that was common to Lucas and as the number dialed, Lucas immediately felt nervous. By the third dial tone, the UEO screen flashed away and an older woman answered. She appeared surprised by the call, squinting partially at Lucas before reaching for some glasses.

"Lucas?" She asked

Lucas Nodded to the women before him. She looked like she had aged rather gracefully. Her graying hair neatly pulled back off her face and her make up simple and rather flattering for a woman of her age. She was wearing a soft pink tweed suit that looked something like old money couture and many sparkly jewels.

"It's been a long time, you look, well.…" She silently envied what she was assuming was good genetics.

Lucas wasn't in the mood for flattery. He used to approach this woman with respect but could feel himself fuming as she sat casually before him. She could see he was not impressed with her in any way what so ever. She smiled cautiously, Lucas was always one to speak his mind when he was younger, and even now he was still defiant when it came to being submissive. She fully expected an honest conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his tone was flat and direct with no hello or how are you. Honest it was going to be.

"What were we supposed to tell you?"

Lucas felt strangely uncomfortable, butterflies stirred inside him at the tone of the older woman's voice. Her gaud was overwhelmingly pathetic.

"The truth!" he angrily replied

"And then what Lucas? You come back from your studies or your life at sea to raise your son?" her response wasn't as warming as her welcome.

"There is a BOY on this ship telling me I am his father, you can't possibly sit there and tell me this was the best way you could think to break the news to me!" Lucas's fury was beginning to come to light.

"Lucas, please try to understand, we didn't ever want you to know." The old woman announced like it was no big deal.

Shock was the only thing Lucas felt at that moment. He was at a loss on what to say, how to respond. Lucas's memories of this woman were more of a good family friend, not a conniving and bitter old lady.

"So what screwed your plan up?"

"The boy is too much like you."

"So he is mine then?" Lucas uttered harshly. Mona gave Lucas a dirty look that was pretty much beyond words, it was clear she didn't appreciate the assumption that Amelia may have been a little too friendly with more then one of her neighbors. The woman was indeed a socialite; she probably painted a very vivid picture to all her gossiping friends of how her daughter was the victim. Taken advantage of and then dumped by this boy with the pretty blue eyes and smart mouth.

"Unfortunately" The attitude in Mona's words mirrored her dirty look.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!"

By this point, the sheer sight of the woman was becoming offensive to Lucas, he didn't know whether to tell her to jam it up her ass or throw up.

"Listen, Lucas, Jed was never to know about you, but the child is gifted."

Lucas didn't understand her point, so Jed had some brains; it's not really a surprise considering his heritage. He pulled a _'and?_' face, letting his offense follow his expression.

"We knew early on he was interested in engines, speed, typical boyish behavior, so we encouraged it, but then he began to become interested in space, interstellar travel and all that nonsense. Everyone knows how it is with the space program and the _seaQuest_ program, we figured this would be a good way for him to satisfy his scientific curiosities while keeping him away from the ocean and if we were lucky, he would meet a nice girl and settle down, as far from you as he could get."

Lucas couldn't believe what he was hearing. Amelia always said her mother was a real bitch, but he always figured it was just a daughter thing. Lucas was trying to make the connection to what Mona was saying and how Jed ended up where he was now. It dawned on him pretty quickly and he smiled widely, finding it profoundly amusing at how little Mona and Gill apparently knew about the space program, and how it is with the navy.

"He had to enroll in the Naval Postgraduate School, didn't he" Lucas slyly laughed. Mona was surprised; she had forgotten how smart Lucas could be.

"What did he study?" Lucas was curious now, he knew that a lot of people in the space programs these days had some sort of naval service or study record, largely because space and ocean technology was, where it came down to the nuts and bolts, a one way street.

"Aeronautical engineering or some rubbish as such" Mona spitefully recited.

"Let me guess he discovered that oceanic technology was the gateway to space technology so he decided to pursue a career in navy and with seaQuest being the epitome of UEO underwater technology and research, it was the best place for him to be."

Mona wasn't impressed with Lucas's assumption, as correct as it was. It was suddenly funny to Lucas. He wasn't a big believer in fate, but with Mona and Gill's apparent efforts to keep Jed from Lucas; they inadvertently lead Jed right to him.

"You encouraged a love for speed and fast engines, so that gave him license to qualify for sub fighter training, which is one of the quickest ways now days to get posted on seaQuest" Lucas felt proud and was impressed by Jed's ambition.

"You knew he got posted and there wasn't a thing you could do about it, you knew I was still aboard, what happened, guilt got the better of you?"

"Hardly," She replied coldly. "He found something he wasn't supposed to see, a letter."

"The birth certificate?" Lucas asked.

"No, the birth certificate was given to him on his last day at his home, Gill, against my wishes gave it to him along with your last name. That letter I wrote for myself a long time ago. I had no intention of ever giving it to him."

"Did he know I was aboard the _seaQuest_?" The thought had never occurred to Lucas that Jed wasn't looking for him once aboard. That it was chance, and these two people were the only people who knew the odds.

"In a way, Jed started himself on this path, we weren't exactly going to hand the truth to him on a silver platter, not after all the lies. Gill simple sparked his curiosity further, we knew he wanted to someday find you, this way, he gets everything he wants."

Not sure if she was being sincere or sarcastic, Lucas eyed her cautiously, she didn't seem to show love for the boy, which was sad. He wanted to reach through the screen and strangle the woman; she was so smug about it all.

"He gets everything he wants so you no longer owe him anything, right?"

"You took my little girl's innocence! Then she died having your bastard child, we don't owe that boy, or you a damn thing!"

The words hurt, that was one thing Lucas could separate from the anger that had been building through the conversation, that and the fact that while his anger may be justified, it won't change a damn thing. He didn't know Amelia had died having Jed, he knew she had passed away not long after they parted, but was told it was meningitis or something. Sighing deeply, Lucas decided he had heard enough.

"I didn't take her innocence." Lucas said calmly before he disconnected the call.

There was a long moment of silence. Lucas felt all the rage build up again and without really thinking, picked up a lamp beside his arm and pitched it hard across the room. It smashed pitifully into a sad heap of mangled wire, plastic and glass onto the floor.

"GOD DAMMIT!" he screamed out. Surprised by how good it felt to lash out at inanimate objects, he clumsily kicked the mesh bin beside the desk. Booting it, the bin bounced onto its side and rolled a little.

"I can't do this" He softly said to himself.


	6. A Wolenczak's curiosity

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter Six : A Wolenczak's curiosity; **__**whoops…**_

Jed sat silently in his quarters. The words Lucas had spoken to him played over and over in his head. He was slowly convincing himself Lucas wasn't all he appeared to be. He seemed inexperienced for someone in his 30's, immature. He certainly didn't look aged and confusing 22 for 32 is a bit extreme. And what the hell did "for conversational purposes" even mean?

He needed to understand it. He could feel there was so much more to those words alone and he wanted to find out exactly what. He could remember all the various conspiracy theories he heard at the academy about the disappearance of the seaQuest, they were captured by undersea pirates who sold the boat off bit by bit after they killed the entire crew, they were swallowed up by a giant fire breathing tunnel worm, they were abducted by aliens, the now all powerful Chaodai stole the boat and brainwashed everyone, Godzilla…the list went on.

While the official word was the relativity stasis, it really didn't explain anything, but despite the obvious lies and cover ups, here Jed was serving on the very ship with a man that was supposed to be his father. How could a supposed Wolenczak not be curious about all this?

Musing over how he was going to go about finding the answers he wanted, one definitive solution came to mind in the form of a friend.

Mr. Tony Piccolo.

Jed hadn't really spent much time with Tony, but 90 % of his interactions since his arrival involved him in some way. He seemed close to Lucas and he defended whole heartily. Hoping that Tony would be able to tell him what he wanted to know, he devised a plan and picked up his PAL. Briefly contemplating if paging the warrant officer would be a wise use of naval property, he came to the conclusion it wasn't a good idea, but he didn't really care.

"Warrant Officer Piccolo, report to sub fighter maintenance bay 2 for vessel shake down"

He lied over the PAL's speaker.

Breathing in deeply Jed shook any feeling of nerves out of his body as he headed towards the sub fighter bay.

000

Jed arrived first. While waiting for the WO to make an appearance, he caught sight of a women bent over the side of vessel he wasn't familiar with. He grinned a cheesy grin as he lost his train of thought and took in the view. Feeling the presence of someone behind her, the woman stood and turned around. Jed was caught off guard and was presented with an annoyed lieutenant commander Heiko Kimura. She wiped her hands clean with a rag and approached the boy with an intimidating stance. Well aware he had been openly staring at her ass.

"Do you have clearance to be down here?" she demanded.

"Yes ma'am," He answered, not really sure what else to say to her, he pointed awkwardly to his sub fighter patch on his arm. Kimura glared at him suspiciously, she wasn't in a good mood. In an attempt to change the subject, Jed turned his attention onto the vessel Kimura had been working on.

"That's a slick design, yours?" He asked.

Glaring for a longer moment, Kimura let her Chaodai training show through as she cut his curiosity off.

"You don't have that much clearance, lieutenant"

"Sorry Ma'am." Jed said with a smile.

Kimura smirked slightly before returning to her work. Jed quietly watched her tinker further with some cables on what looked like the front of the cockpit.

The heavy clanking of the near by hatch drew Jed's attention away from Kimura and her vessel and onto Tony who entered breathlessly.

"Take your time" Jed said sarcastically. Tony gave a laugh that sounded like a lot of effort, just what he needed more snotty remarks from a kid. Tony bit his tongue as he noticed that Jed wasn't the only officer in the room.

"So, when are we doing this" he un-enthusiastically asked. He wasn't sure why he had been called to do a sub shake down. He normally just did the driving, not the maintenance.

"Uh, that's the thing," Jed started nervously "we're not, I just needed to talk to you,"

Confused, Tony was becoming increasingly annoyed.

"So why didn't you just come and find me then" he asked agitated.

"It's a big boat, this was easier" Jed answered bluntly. Tony Just shook his head, if there was one thing he had learned above everything else on his time on _seaQuest_ is that easier doesn't equal better, or smarter.

"What do you want? I have a lunch to get back to." Tony's irritation with the deception was clear; he was eating a massive piece of chocolate cake when he got buzzed. Jed got straight to the point.

"I want to know what happened to the _seaQuest_."

"What do you mean you want to know what happened?"

"C'mon, you've seen my father? I'm in trouble"

The words were all too familiar… Tony remembered his mother's visit to her youthful past, and then there was Brody's mother, it was strange that underage looking parents were common place with this crew. He felt bad for Jed, but he was bound by his duty to the lie that was 2032.

"Sorry, But I got nothin' to tell you" Jed's questions were making Tony nervous and Jed was getting annoyed with his attempts to play dumb.

"Ok, we can just go around in circles here, me asking you what happened and you pretending you don't know… I know you're not as dumb as your making yourself out to be, but just so you know, I'm not going away," The boy stated bluntly. Tony was beginning to hate this kid.

"What do you want me to say kid?" Tony gave in slightly. Jed thought about his answer for a brief moment.

"How old is my father, really, and none of this technical stuff, just tell me the truth…"

"Boy, I couldn't give you the technical stuff if it was tattooed on my hand" In the very moment Tony finished his sentence, he realized he had just given away a big _"yes, I know stuff but I ain't tellin_" clue and it was very apparent that Jed was too sharp to let it slide. Before he could let the boy pounce on the opportunity, he took into account his own experiences with his mother to persuade him that the lie was the truth.

"You think you're the first guy to have a parent that looks 10?" Tony said with a good dose of attitude, it was clear Jed didn't understand his point.

"My mother, she took these pills and they made her look 25, ask you father, I'm sure he remembers," he said with a smirk that could have been both amused and sick, Tony continued "And Lt. Brody, a guy in his thirties, his mother was in cryo-stasis and when she came out, BAM, she was still 25… so Lucas looks a little young, stop trying to make something outta nothin'!"

Jed thought it over.

"They all had reasons though and that still doesn't explain where you all were for 10 years" He continued to push.

"Why does it matter?"

Jed had to think for a long moment. Why did it matter?

"Look kid, the chances of you coming here, and meeting your father is what, like a million to one? stop worrying about all the why, and start appreciating how lucky you actually are to find Lucas."

Tony had a good point, so much time was lost on the past already, but the WO wasn't going to get out of it that easily.

"It's our past that defines who we are"

Kimura was still in the room and had ignored the bigger half of the conversation up until that point. She stopped her work and stood, staring ominously at the two.

"Lucas is your father?" she asked, finding the revelation a very curious thing. It took a very long time for Lucas to warm to Heiko in any sense. His dislike of was completely reasonable - she had deceived Tim to aid her defection effectively breaking his heart, got Freddy killed in action by stirring the Chaodai and threatened delicate peace for the sake of her own revenge. Heiko knew Lucas wasn't a fan but she made a conscientious effort to be at the very least, on neutral terms with him. It was important because Lucas would be the one to work with her on the Xiăo Yú sub fighter she had brought to _seaQuest_. To replicate its technology.

Jed didn't know how much information he was comfortable with Kimura having so for the first time since his arrival, he remained silent. She slowly approached him waiting for an answer. His comment on a person's past being what defines them also sparked her curiosity with her own past being exactly the reason she came to be on _seaQuest_, with what seemed like a lifetime of wisdom spoke quietly to Jed.

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new,"

Jed squinted suspiciously.

"Don't let such good fortune slip away from you, lieutenant,"

Tony was surprised to see a soft side to Kimura, even if it was in that diplomatic, cold way of speaking that seems to come naturally to the Chaodai. Before anyone could respond to her, she turned and went back to her work.

That was just odd, Jed thought to himself. As odd as it may have been, she was right.

Tony thought it to be a good time to escape Jed before the next round of questions started.

"So" Jed began,

Damn, too late! Preparing himself for the 'where were you all and why is my father so young' questions, Tony was rather delightfully surprised when Jed's question wasn't about any of their previous subject matter.

"You said you were having lunch?"


	7. Solace

**Soul of my Soul**

_**Chapter Seven : Solace**_

_"_"WHO IS HE!"

The boy cried out in protest. Half an hour before Jed Talus was set to leave his home for the last time, his surrogate parents, his grandparents, told him a secret. A secret they had kept from him for 18 years.

"I can't tell you"

It was a mistake. Revealing this secret was completely mistimed. It was an accident. He wasn't supposed to find out like this. So carelessly, after keeping this secret safe for 18 years, he found it.

"Why not? Tell me his name!"

"No!"

"Why the hell not!"

"Don't speak to me like that!"

"Tell me my father's name!"

Dressed in a blue navy jumpsuit, he certainly looked the part. Intelligent, ambitious, driven. He achieved everything he had wanted too. This was supposed to be his moment, the day he would go to take up his role as a UEO officer. Now it's all clouded, all because of one careless moment. It was just a few pieces of paper, but they had held so many secrets just waiting for mistaken eyes to see.

"No Jed. I'm not going to tell you, you are better off without him."

"THAT IS A LIE! Pappy, tell me!"

"Stay out of it Gill"

"You can't keep this from me, you don't have the right"

"Jed! Try to understand, this will not help you in any way, let it go, believe me he is not worth throwing all your hard work away on."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"I lost my little girl to him, I am not about to lose you too…"

A car pulls up outside, its time for him to go, but he isn't ready, things aren't finished, they owe him too much, his mother, his father, he lost both because of them. So many lies. So many lies.

"She killed herself because of you! Now your taking this away from me too, you're selfish, a selfish old woman, she is dead because of you!"

Cold, cold hands violate Jed's tear drawn face with intense stinging. Swift, harsh and with disregard, they express the old woman's truth.

"Get out!" she coldly sneers.

Jed picks up his duffel bag and leaves, it doesn't matter what he says or does now, and they're lost to him. What are the chances of finding his father now? A million to one, without a clue. Jed wasn't used to being without direction. He hated it. The fear of never being given the chance made him sick with anger. He is glad to be leaving. This place isn't his home anymore.

Exiting the cold home, the old man rushes after him.

"Jed, wait!"

Jed stops

Gill hugs the boy and wipes a tear from under his eye. He hands him an envelope

"Keep the letters. You should know you are very much like him."

He doubts the guilt has torn them in anyway, but Jed takes the solace offered by his grandfather. Taking a pen from his pocket and with a forgiving hand, he writes on the envelope. He gives Jed a clue. A name. Eastern European in its decent and pronounced not as it's spelt, but these facts he was oblivious too. Jed didn't really understand the relevance, but there was a sudden lightness, a change of heart there in the old mans eyes. Jed had found a direction again.

The car beeps its horn impatiently.

He leaves his home, and all the lies, never looking back.


	8. I can't keep loving you

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter Eight : I can't keep on loving you one foot outside the door.**_

Lucas sat on his bed with his legs folded under himself, elbows dug into knees and his face buried in his hands. The constant ambient humming of the ship had a soothing effect on his nerves as he ran over the days events over and over in his head. Mona had rattled him good and he was not prepared for anything that he was feeling. For a long time Lucas operated with a mild numbness that cut him off from the memories of his failed family relationships. Now a wide range of emotions came and went with such a force that he didn't have the energy to shut it down. Anger from the lies, sadness for the loss, fear of the responsibility. The last thought was the one that occupied his mind the most, and it bothered him. It didn't matter how adult Jed may be, there is forever a responsibility to him now. An obligation. Lucas knew almost instantly that he did not want it. This clear, sharp thought made Lucas ashamed of himself. Despite his desire to have someone to call family he was rejecting Jed and wasn't even trying to stop himself from doing so.

Lucas raised his head from his hands and allowed himself to let tears fall for the first time since he was a kid. The rejection he suffered by both his mother, father and then Nathan Bridger built a very solid wall around anything he might call trust or family bonds. Keeping them safe and locked away, everyone is always at a distance. There was no way this kid was going to fall into his life and find a place on the light side of that wall. Lucas made the decision without hesitation. He can stay out in the dark like everyone else. Maybe Mona was right, he probably wouldn't have come back to raise his son, but he could most surely bet knowing about him then would have at least given Jed a chance to bond with Lucas, to take advantage of that small amount of naïve trust he still had like an open flame. For a child with unconditional love, this would have been more then enough. But this was something long since extinguished.

Breathing deeply, Lucas made a decision.

000

"I think I'm starting to like you," Jed smiled as he shared lunch with Tony.

"Lucky me," Tony said heavily. Tony was a guy that was never not sure about people. Despite the wise guy act he was always very perceptive when it came to people. It always gave him clear bounds on how far he can push. Of course there are always a few that threw him a curve ball. Lucas was one of them, so not surprisingly Jed was another. Genetics are a powerful thing apparently. He just couldn't figure the kid out. In the space of moments he shifts from vulnerable to controlled, cocky to submissive, cold to warm. Jed did have one trait Tony appreciated. The boy had a wicked sense of humor. On their walk back to mess hall, Jed had made the joke '_2 baby seals walked into a club' _and Tony couldn't stop laughing.

"Well I can't be that bad, we're having lunch together," Jed said with a smile.

"Yeah maybe since we are such good friends you can do my hair later," Tony joked sarcastically, motioning his hand around his head.

"I'd like that," Jed replied in a dead serious tone, staring directly into Tony's eyes. Tony shifted uncomfortably not sure if he was joking and unable to really tell.

"HAHA! Relax! I am joking!" Jed laughed

"You looked worried there for a sec!" he continued. Tony laughed at his own awkwardness.

"Besides you probably do hair shit anyway," Jed followed up, simultaneously laughing at his own hilarity and digging into the second chocolate cake Tony was attempting to eat.

He must get his sense of humor from his mother Tony thought to himself as he laughed some more.

From what seemed like out of no where, Lucas pulled a chair from under the table abruptly and sat down.

"Tony, could we have a minute please?" He asked roughly. It was obvious Lucas was a bit over the place, his eyes were squinted and red from recent tears and his tone was direct. Jed was very surprised by the sudden resolve in Lucas' voice and it made him uncomfortable. Tony gave a solid nod and left the table wordlessly, patting Lucas hard on his back in a physical show of support. Taking his cake with him.

Lucas gave his attention to Jed after Tony had made some distance from them.

"This is really hard for me to say, and I'm not really sure how exactly to do so without sounding cruel," Lucas sternly warned. This made Jed instantly nervous. He stayed quiet, watching Lucas carefully. With his arms folded on the table Lucas leaned forward to give Jed some discretion and spoke quietly.

"I'm not going to do this,"

Jed continued to sit motionless. His green eyes darted around the table and he bit his lower lip. He had in instant rush of words and emotions in his head and had to filter them fast. Lucas leaned back into his chair and watched Jed's reaction. He felt heavy with guilt and even as he watched the pain form on his son's face his own emotional mind screamed at him that he was being ridiculous, but his rationale knew better and this was necessary. Self preservation is a cold thing.

"I'm going to forward to request to Hudson to have one of us transferred,"

There was a very long silence. The bustle of the hall suddenly became loud like someone turning a volume dial up and static filled Jed's ears. He felt angry. Very angry. This was not fair, Lucas was making decision that was taking away too many things. He doesn't want to be a father fine, but Jed was going to be damned if he was going to let Lucas take away his career as well. Not after he worked so hard to get where he was.

"You,"

"Me what?" Lucas responded, a little confused.

"You leave. You transfer," Jed demanded.

Lucas didn't give this part as much thought, he assumed Jed would simply go. He could get posted anywhere he wanted really, problem was he already had. _SeaQuest_ wasn't just a career choice, it was Lucas' home. He wasn't willing to let that go at any rate. He was confident Hudson would not transfer him.

"I know this isn't what you wanted…"

"How would you know what I want? You don't know a thing about me," Jed snapped, cutting Lucas off.

"I worked my ass off to get here, I didn't have any help and if you think I am just going to give that up and go work else where then you very sadly mistaken. I will fight to stay here." he continued, furious. Lucas didn't really know what to say next. Jed liked the anger, it drowned out anything else he was feeling and however blurry Lucas may have made his future it was short lived. The threat of derailing his ambitions, something he was all to familiar was easier to focus on.

"look, we can't work together, its against UEO policy family cannot serve aboard the same vessel" Lucas winced on the inside at referring to Jed as family after rejecting him. He saw in the boy's eyes that it angered him further.

"Well, we don't have a problem then do we because you aren't doing this. I'm not your family. We share blood and that's it,"

"What did you think was going to happen after you told me who you were? We were going to live happily together, that Hudson will let us work together? That I'd fill shoes left empty for 18 years? It doesn't work like that. Did you even think?" Lucas said frustrated. It seemed Jed gave no thought to anything before he opened his mouth and this made him angry. He almost thought of it as selfish, how dare he come into his world like this?

"I wasn't asking you to fill in anyone's shoes, I have a father,"

"Then what?"

"I…" Jed wasn't sure what to say. He just wanted to know Lucas. Just know him. What he looked like, how he talked how he laughed, if Jed was like him like Gill said. The truth was he had thought about it. Every night as he fell asleep, when his mind wasn't occupied with thoughts of mechanics and speed it was occupied with thoughts of the kind of person his father was. He was so ready to meet him, just not like this, by surprise and unprepared. He didn't have the life experience to handle it the way it should have been handled.

"I just wanted to know who you were," He said finally in a soft voice. For all his confidence this angry, upset stranger took the wind out of his sails like no one else ever had. Like only a parent could.

"I'm sorry," He said honestly. He really was. Lucas sighed, he didn't feel like himself at all. He knew he was angry at not just the shock, but because he wasn't handling it well. It was in part an act of defense. Anger is an unforgiving emotion and it eats all manner of clear thinking.

"What are we going to do?" Jed asked. Lucas was stirring this up, he wanted him to fix it.

"We need to talk to Hudson," Lucas answered in a tone that implied that it was obvious.

"I'm not leaving," Jed wanted it to be very, very clear. Lucas knew it would come down to who was move valuable. At this point in such a war, a trained fighter seemed a better choice then a scientist. Lucas did have one distinct, strong advantage however, he knew this ship better then its own captain. This was a well known fact among the senior officers and even high ranking staff of the UEO. From her complex computer systems to her nuclear reactor to her bio-skin, his knowledge was invaluable. This fact was something Jed did not find on the internex.

Before their conversation could continue the loud, obnoxious alarm of a red alert sounded and the lighting on the ship changed to a pulsing crimson.

"GENERAL QUARTERS, GENERAL QUARTERS, ALL SUBFIGHTER PILOTS REPORT TO YOUR VESSELS" Ford announced over the communication system. Jed stood abruptly looking frantic, he made eye contact with Lucas and waited for him to say something. Lucas remained seated, staring up at him. Was he supposed to stop him? Neither were sure what permissions they were supposed to be giving/taking. Running to the launch bay, Kimura spotted Jed paused in the mess hall with Lucas and frustrated with his lack of urgency ran over to him, gripping his arm firmly.

"Time to move lieutenant!" she ordered, making stern eye contact with Lucas before dragging Jed away in the direction of the sub fighters. Lucas stood and watched the two leave. He wondered what the hell that look was for before wordlessly making his way to the bridge.

"ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT" was the next announcement before the ship shuddered violently. It was a torpedo, and from what Lucas could tell, detonated by intercepts damn close to the hull. Whoever attacked has done so by surprise, intercepts shouldn't detonate so close unless they didn't have to travel far.

000

"Spectre one to base sir we have Macronesian sub fighters, two, four? eight fighters confirmed in attack formation captain, do I have an order?" Brody relayed back to the bridge. Lieutenant James Brody had become a brilliant pilot over the last few years, having learned the basics from one of the UEO's finest, lieutenant J.J. Fredricks before she was killed in action. Filling her shoes was the equally talented Heiko Kimura who had taken on training both Tony and Jim.

"Spectre one, fighters are hostile you may engage," Hudson ordered. He had been on the bridge when a Macronesian warship made herself visible before firing in an unprovoked attack on the _seaQuest_. She was a typical warship class, outfitted with dozens of Lysander and "_Donut_" class sub fighters as well as heavy on torpedo runs. Furious, Hudson ordered Lieutenant Henderson to open torpedo doors and flood all tubes. He was ending this right now.

"Hail him!" The captain barked. Lucas was late arriving to the bridge. During a full red alert this was unacceptable and he was bond to suffer for it later, but now he fulfilled Hudson's request.

A captain in a bold maroon uniform appeared onscreen.

"Back down now or we will blow you out of the water," Hudson spoke from the back of his throat, giving his voice bass to emphasize his fury.

"You're in our waters captain, we are with in our rights to defend." The captain coolly replied. Hudson was disbelieving and ordered O'Neill to scan the area.

"He's right sir, looks like it was annexed late this morning," Tim reported. Hudson sucked air sharply through his nostrils and they flared in the action. The take over was so fresh the charts hadn't even been updated.

"Stand down captain," Said the Macronesian captain.

"We are not a hostile threat captain, you attacked us,"

"You are the flagship of the UEO in our waters, your very presence is a hostile threat. Stand down," The Macronesian captain demanded again.

"Recall your sub fighters and we will gladly leave your waters," Hudson was banking on one simple fact, he had a bigger boat. There was a long moment of silence between the two captains as they stood off. The hostile fighters were still closing in and quickly.

"Henderson, arm torpedo's." Hudson ordered without a moment of flinching. The Macronesian captain would not falter. He was a tough son of a bitch and stood smugly watching Oliver.

"We have a firing solution captain." Henderson reported.

He gave her no acknowledgement. No order, simply waited for the other captain to back down.

"Sir, it looks like the Alliance subs are returning to the warship?" Brody reported, he was confused by this sudden action because the subs did not break their pace or even pause for an order. Hudson was suspicious, the Macronesian captain gave no order for a return, not even a glance to his commander. This was not over.

Suddenly a sharp alert rang from Lucas' console

"SIR! She's launched EMP's!"

"How many Mr. Wolenczak?" He asked without breaking his glare.

"10, they're only small, not enough to disable us but its enough to disable our sub fighters. They'll be sitting targets out there!" Lucas responded. He was immediately worried about Jed and was unable to keep emotion out of his voice

"Sir the warship is launching more sub fighters, by the looks these subs systems are shielded, they will be unaffected by the EMP's." O'Neill reported.

"the decision is yours" the Macronesian captain dared with a smile on his face.

"Sir, impact in 3, 2…."


	9. Weight of the ocean on your shoulders

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter Nine : Weight of the ocean on your shoulders**_

Day 1

He was tiny. While the doctors assured he was healthy, she just couldn't fathom his size. Tiny fingers held around her own they didn't know anything about the world. It broke heart in a way. Amelia stared down at her baby with wide eyes. There he was in her arms all shiny and new. She was now the keeper of this little soul, despite her parent's desire for her to be otherwise. At her own young age Amelia had resolve beyond her years. He was hers and that was absolute.

Day 7

Bonding was difficult. The baby cried and she felt nothing but anxiety. She couldn't work out what he wanted because she didn't know how to read her baby. Her mother was no help; she would float around spitting venom at her daughter while she cried in her room with her distressed little boy. Her father was away, working hard as always oblivious to his wife's cunning. In the night the housekeeper would show her how to change him and encouraged her to breast feed, something her own mother slapped her for attempting after they had left the hospital.

Day 180

He was too small. The winter was bitter and this baby should not be so small. The old woman was relentless with her abuse. Picking, picking at her every move like a vulture to a corpse. Sooner or later, Amelia would cave. She would give her son away to a family who would love him and raise him as their own. Or not, the old woman didn't care. All she could see when she looked at this baby was a problem that needed a solution. If her daughter cannot see she could not look after this baby, she would force her to see. It was obvious by the child's size she could not. It was all her own fault for being such a slut. She would do this for as long as it takes. Until her daughter understands she cannot have a future with a baby. What collage would accept her when her time was divided between her studies and her baby? What man would want that if her were to marry her? She could afford a nanny, but Amelia was stubborn and insisted on doing it all herself. She will learn, she will want for things she can't have because of this little bastard child. Then she would surely learn.

Day 1050

Amelia stood out by the lake. It was frozen with a delicate layer of ice; still as the air, it deceived the eye by hiding the current below. Her tears thickened with the cold as they slipped down her face. Her face was numb from the biting cold. Her little boy was quiet. He shifted in his layers of warmth but did not make a sound. Standing by her side he clung to her leg with his little mitten covered hands. He could sense his mothers' unease. She breathed deeply. The air was sharp and crisp as it filled her lungs. She began to feel cold on the inside again, like she had for so long. She stepped forward and onto the ice. It reacted instantly to her weight, splitting aggressively and moaning loud. It did not give. Amelia felt adrenaline rush through her veins and she began to shake from it. She smiled nervously and walked out onto the ice. She was some distance out before turning to Jed who waited on the solid bank. She smiled at him but her eyes were red, full with tears. She waved for him to come to her. Jed knew by instinct that it was not safe but his mothers face was confusing. He stayed in his spot. She gave a little laugh at his refusal before waving in bigger motions and smiling wider. He trusted his mother. He steadily took a small step onto the ice.

A voice echoed loud across the snow covered property. It was her father. He could see her from the house and knew as soon as he lay eyes on Amelia what her intentions were. He was running, fighting the thick snow, screaming to her. His eyes were blurred with tears and his legs burned. Behind him the house keeper chased, crying out to Amelia, to Jed. From a distant window, the sound of the cries caught the old woman's attention. She watched it all happen from her window, motionless, tears streaming down her face that was cold as stone.

_Please no!_ The words were desperately cried from a voice with such force it cracked at the air. Amelia watched the people who loved her run to her. She needed them to run so much faster, she knew they would not be there soon enough. Her little boy cautiously took small steps to his broken mother. She smiled joyously. The hold the old woman had over them would soon be gone. Released in a flash of ice, cold and then darkness. She would finally understand, this freedom was to be her happiness and soon the old woman would have nothing.

Her father struggled to stop as he reached the ice. He cried out to Jed. The push in his voice made the little boy stop dead in his tracks. He begged him to come to pappy. His attention shifted to his daughter with the sound of the ice giving. He cried what are you doing? Don't do this. We love you. Please don't do this. She watched him through hollow eyes. It was too late; there was nothing left in her for him, she knew he loved her but it was from a distance and never close enough to shield her. Jed, confused by all the yelling began to cry, his little heart didn't understand. There was a loud noise that sounded like a whip cracking as the ice gave under Amelia's feet and she disappeared into the freezing water, rapidly swept below and down stream. They would find her later, but not as they remembered her. The maid who had been chasing behind ran out onto the ice without a second thought, scooping up the toddler and in a swift movement pushed him through the air to his grandfather before she too disappeared. Cries and screams that only come from a place of helplessness, of such powerful and sudden loss echoed in the little boy's ears, burning a very clear memory into his innocent mind. This memory he would never share with anyone else.

000

Cold water was streaming quickly through a split in the cockpit window framed with blood. The temperature jogged the memory of Jed's last winter in Buffalo and in his unconscious state he dreamed of the last time he saw her face. A low pitch alert buzzed from his silent cockpit before a hissing sounded from the outside of the Spectre. He slowly opened his eyes that were damp with tears, his head ached fiercely and everything was blurry. A heavy vibration jolted the vessel and the console before him lit up. _SeaQuest_ had remotely restarted the vehicle and initiated the emergency eject to the surface. Once free from the body of the vessel the cockpit rushed towards the surface. The force of the sudden ascent pressed against Jed and he woke further. The sunlight swirling at the surface rushed toward him. The cockpit broke through softly and bobbed gently in the small waves. The water rolled off the rounded hull and as soon as it was clear Jed fumbled to opened it using an emergency release lever. Fresh air flooded in and he breathed it gratefully which created a rattling in his chest. Touching an uncoordinated hand to his forehead, he could feel sharp surface pain and slippery flesh. Looking at his fingertips, they were covered in blood. From what he could tell he was bleeding quite badly and probably had a concussion. What he couldn't tell was that his face was covered in blood. Closing his eyes again Jed let his head flop backwards against his seat.

He thought briefly that he heard a woman's voice, but was unsure if it was his memory or reality. With his eyes closed he concentrated on any sound that filled his ears. Then he heard it again. Sitting up awkwardly he looked out into the glaring sunlight. He could see a silhouette of a woman waving her arms. It was lieutenant commander Heiko Kimura and she looked like she had her entire sub fighter, not just the cockpit. Fighting to stay conscience Jed waved in return before his arm became very heavy, like it was made of lead. A deep pain rose from his stomach into his chest and suddenly he felt so sleepy.

What felt like a few seconds of nothing were actually several minutes of lost consciousness and upon opening his eyes Jed was greeted by the sight of Heiko leaning over him, tending to his head injury. He didn't say a word; he moved only his eyes as he watched her shift above him. Seeing he had woken, Heiko spoke to Jed but now he couldn't make out her words. Heiko could see he was having trouble breathing, making a sickly gurgling sound and as he opened his mouth and tried to speak she noticed blood lined his lips. Unzipping his jumpsuit she placed her hand under his shirt and applied some pressure to his stomach. All Jed could hear then was he own voice crying out from the pain before he fell back into darkness.

000

Med bay was a mess. Dr. Perry and her team were at capacity. The unusual attack had seen more injuries then normal simply because the pilots got thrown around in their fighters. Broken bones, concussion and internal injuries were time consuming to treat. There we casualties too. A young lieutenant who showed great talent and a mustang officer with excellent tactical experience were defenceless in their subs and were torn apart like paper. There was no chance of even recovering their bodies for their families to mourn and honour.

This is the scene Jed opened his eyes briefly to before succumbing again to the warm darkness that kept pulling him back in. He had internal injuries. Bleeding out from the inside he needed a blood transfusion and surgery. By some form of misfortune Jed's blood type was O-. While he could donate universally to others he himself needed the same matching blood type which made up about 10% of the world population, _seaQuest _simply did not have enough on hand.

Dr. Perry, as a sort of last resort ran a cross matching reference on all crew medical files in hope of finding a suitable match onboard, otherwise she would have to risk giving Jed an AB enzyme treated blood substitute which could have adverse effects if his body did not accept it. She made a mental note to put in a request for a larger supply of uncommon blood types as she waited for her system to generate some good news.

After sometime thinking her lab computer made a polite, positive beep. There were currently three crew members with suitable blood, and thankfully none of them were in med bay with life threatening injuries. In addition to this good news, not only did she find a few matches, genotyping revealed one of them was the very closest match possible, sharing genetic information. This was something only possible by family relation and this percentage of shared genetics, only possible through direct inheritance. This information was very interesting and had the potential to present real, complex problems between crew involved. Dr. Perry would remember to discuss it later with the captain, but right now she had to get Lucas Wolenczak down to med bay to commence the blood transfusion.

000

Lucas was slouched in a soft chair beside Jed, his head was buried deep in his palm and he was drifting to sleep. He watched Jed with sleepy eyes breath slow and steady. Lawrence always pressed that it was important to donate blood because of their type but Lucas simply hated it. He had a tendency to unconscientiously hold his breath as the process began which would either knock him out cold or leave him disorientated and dizzy. He would also convince himself of the sensation of the blood leaving his body, which un-nerved him. Today however, he was completely calm about it. He had felt mildly light headed during the transfusion but let himself ignore it as he gave several units of blood, most which were used in Jed's surgery that thankfully went perfectly.

Hours had passed since the attack and med bay was quiet again. Awash with an ambient blue light it deceived anyone of the chaos experienced earlier. Most of the crew had been sent back to their quarters with their treated wounds and now only about half a dozen remained in the elaborate intensive care units. Nursing staff tended their patients while curiously watching Lucas stay by what they thought was a strangers' side.

Making a tired sigh, Jed shifted slightly. He was uncomfortable he could tell that much. He didn't feel any pain but his body did feel like it had a large something, like an imaginary mass pushing against his skin from the inside. He opened his eyes and stared at the grated ceiling. After a few more moments of morphine induced unawareness, Jed noticed fingertips touching the top of his hand. It was Lucas. He was slumped in a chair next to the bed asleep with his arm across the void between the bed and arm of the chair. It was physical contact in the form of subtle comfort but it was limited, just enough to feel Lucas was there. Jed gazed at the motionless interaction for a long time. He thought he was imagining it. As if out of instinct Lucas woke abruptly to find Jed awake. He smiled relieved and it was genuine.

"What happened?" Jed asked in a dry voice as he struggled to swallow, the breathing tubes he had down his throat during surgery left it feeling raw and scratchy.

"Rapid deceleration, did a bit of damage to your insides." Lucas said softly. He leaned in a little so Jed didn't have to talk with much volume.

"How… how did we get away?" Jed continued before licking his lips awkwardly and closing his eyes.

"We didn't, they let us go." Lucas' voice sounded flat, almost ungrateful. They were let go alright, but not before the Macronesian captain devastated the sub fighters. It had been a very long, intense day, but Lucas would tell him about it later.

"But…" Jed had spent all the energy his body would give him and the morphine put him back to sleep. Lucas waited but Jed was out again. Settling back into his chair again, Lucas took it as a positive sign Jed had been talking, even if it was only a few words.

000

"Lieutenant," a thick brawny voice spoke from behind Lucas. Lucas breathed deep through his nose as he pulled himself upright and came out of his light sleep. Hudson moved into Lucas' peripheral vision. His arms were folded behind his back, but it wasn't a strong posture, more the result of habit. His shoulders were relaxed and he tilted his head to look Lucas in the face, rather then stare down his nose. Lucas still hunched down slightly under the older man's gaze as he looked up. Hudson's face was neutral, Lucas couldn't read him.

"Dr. Perry has brought something to my attention," Although he spoke soft, his voice still had a strong bass to it. It made it sound like he was talking louder then he actually was. Lucas didn't say anything; he just stared up submissively waiting for Hudson to continue.

Hudson didn't say anything else. He simply gestured his head with a nod towards Jed. Lucas followed the movement before looking down at his hands which were fidgeting without him willing them too. Hudson caught the movement and raised a single eyebrow; he was not aware of any of the circumstances surrounding this situation and was very eager to change that. He wasn't angry, so to say, but more concerned about finding out just what the hell was going on.

"My quarter's lieutenant, I believe we need to talk." Hudson softly ordered before turning on his heal and with a steady stride left med bay. Lucas stood slowly, his eyes trained on Jed. He touched the top of his hand lightly with the very tips of his fingers. Sighing he left to follow his captain.


	10. Lessons not learned in blood are never

**Soul of my soul**

_**Chapter Ten : Lessons not learned in blood are never remembered**_

There were more holes in the grated ceiling the Jed cared to count. The artificial air with it's mild metallic taste softly filtered through and he could only just feel it puffing at his face. Jed was bored and very restless; he did not like sitting still. The nurses were all too serious and he had no one to talk to now he had fully woken up.

His skin was itchy from the surgery, rubbing his upper stomach gently he could feel the bump of stitches, following the line they went down a good few inches. Gathering the material of his gown almost covertly in his fist Jed pulled it upwards. He wanted to get a look at this. Concentrating on fabric he didn't notice he had an audience. Heiko slapped his hand lightly to stop Jed from stirring the wound. He paused mid motion and looked at her like a child that had just gotten in trouble but didn't know what for. She gave him a look that said he knew what it was for before sitting in the chair where Jed had last seen Lucas.

"How are you feeling?" She asked him, she really meant the question despite her tone of voice that was, as ever cold and flat.

"Everything hurts, but no worse then the time when I bailed on a go-cart I fitted with small propulsion rockets, I broke my insides then too," Jed half joked. Heiko smiled and Jed noticed that unlike her icy demeanour, she had a kind face.

"You're lucky," She stated.

"I know, what the hell happened? Why did they let us go?"

"We were disabled with direct, short range EMP's before they picked us off one by one," Heiko bluntly reported. She responded the fastest to the incoming threat because it had been burned into her by instinct. Her sensitive, complex neurological implant was extremely vulnerable to the electro magnetic power of the torpedos, she was no use to anyone unconscientious so she broke formation and flew the opposite direction. After all the EMP's had detonated she returned to be the thin line of defence drawing most of the fire and avoiding it by millimetres.

"General Stassi hailed us, he ordered us out of Macronesian waters, the whole thing was an exercise of power," She continued.

"But we weren't in Alliance waters?" Jed was confused, he knew for a fact that the course that had been plotted steered well clear of any Alliance territory because he was there when the helm did it.

"Yes we were, we just didn't know it,"

"How is that even possible? A territory sinks and my next door neighbours drycleaner with the shitty black and white television knows about it before the news does, the spread of information takes seconds," He exclaimed frustrated, this was ridiculous.

"And in a world of such technology there are ways to control that spread of information," Heiko said matter-of-factly. Jed lay there quietly for a while, thinking over and over. He had the clearest memory of the muffled pop made by small ranged weapons exploding against helpless sub fighters. It disturbed him more then he had realised because he knew some hadn't come back, he may have witnessed deaths of his crewmates and not even have known it.

A part of him that was rational told him this is what you signed up for, what did you expect? Innocence is such a useless thing in a place like this. He turned to look at Heiko. She was cold and hardened; it was all over her face. Tony told him about how Heiko came to be on _seaQuest_, about her motivations, her desire for revenge, but even she managed some degree of warmth in the act of a small smile. He wondered if she really had concern for his well-being or if she was simply at his side out of duty. Jed suddenly had the urge to share something very personal with Heiko and before he really thought it through, spoke.

"I watched my mother die when I was little." Jed said out of nowhere. Heiko was not someone who was ever surprised by what people say, but that took her off guard.

"When I was in the sub, I remembered her face." He went on. It haunted him, playing on his mind over and over in unexpected flashes.

"What happened to her?" She didn't understand why exactly Jed was telling her this, but she listened all the same. She was curious simply because she had witnessed her own mothers death as a child.

"She killed herself, walked out onto thin ice, apparently she was sick or something." He paused as he remembered that cold day. How his grandfathers voice frightened him to stop walking to her. How he cried and cried for his mother in the nights after, how icy bodies of water stirred anxiety he didn't even know was there.

"She tried to take me with her," He said sadly. Jed wasn't sure why he was even telling Heiko this, he had never told anyone about that day, not even his grandparents knew how very vivid his memory was. He thought maybe it was because Heiko would understand loss, painful loss. The memory had all but been buried until he found her diary with its loose pages the day he was supposed to leave his home and go to sea. Looking in his fathers study for an old nautical book, it was there, hidden behind some trinkets. In it was his birth certificate with the letter he was never meant to read, his mothers pained memories of her own mother and pages of sadness for the man who was never there to protect her. The hardest one to read was his mothers last letter, the one where she couldn't wait to be free, how there was no doubt in her mind that it was the right thing to do.

Heiko gently took Jed's hand with hers', securing it in comfort. She did understand. He didn't say anything else and she let him. They sat wordlessly together and it was comfort enough. He felt so very human.

000

Lucas sat at the beautiful solid wood table with a heavy posture. He leaned across it far and sank his ribs into the bevelled edge. It was an uncomfortable awkwardness but he didn't fight it. The table absorb the soft light of the wardroom and this made it seem warm. There was a lot of wood in this room and it was easy to think you were deep in the belly of a traditional navy ship if it weren't for the high tech silver skeleton holding the whole thing up. _SeaQuest_ was a delicate mix of traditional and modern, a sort of nod to her past and her current powerful disposition. She was such a fine example of what craftsmanship could achieve.

Hudson stood ominously at the end of the table. He had his hands on the back of a chair like he was waiting for permission to sit in it. Lucas didn't look him in the eye.

"So when exactly did Lt. Talus inform you that you and he were related?" he asked very formally.

"Today, this morning to be exact." Lucas answered.

"And you had no prior knowledge?" Hudson quizzed. Lucas could feel the tone in his voice, this was a serious breach of security but Lucas was telling the truth, he simply didn't know.

"No sir,"

"Those are very big odds Lucas," Hudson called him Lucas. He never used his name. That really got his attention and made him curious.

"Believe me sir, I'm well aware of the odds," Lucas said it the same way he would have said it at 16, all defence and no sincerity. He didn't mean it, but he was getting tired and the day had been very, very long. Hudson raised an eyebrow and made it obvious he was ignoring the attitude.

"You do realise now I will have to transfer one of you?"

"Sir, aside from blood we don't really know each other, is it really necessary to transfer one of us?" Lucas didn't want it to come to this; he would feel bad about Jed losing what he worked so hard for.

"Lucas, despite your limited relationship with the lieutenant, it has been my experience siblings don't work well together, it compromises too much."

Lucas paused dead still and looked Hudson boldly in the eyes with a wide-eyed gaze. He must have heard that wrong. Very wrong.

"What did you say sir?"

000

There it was. That little smiley face on the digital display was the method of confirmation. Kind of inappropriate of the test manufactures really, like if you were doing a pregnancy test then a positive result should be a good thing, something to smile about because only women who plan to have babies need tests. If you were, however 16 and faced with an unplanned pregnancy to a dangerous fling, well, that smile was mocking you in the most self-righteous way possible. Amelia began to cry, how could she have been so stupid?

She sat perched in her window letting the sun warm her face and dry her tears, staring out at nothing. From her high position she could see the house across from her own. Wolenczak Manner as she had affectionately nick named it, was slowly being emptied of all her worldly possessions. Lawrence and Cynthia were divorcing and neither could bring themselves to continue to live in that house any longer then they needed too.

She watched the removalist bustle back and forth, they all looked like busy little ants from this distance. That's when she spotted it, a flash of blonde hair. Lucas took after his mother; she was tall and slim with finely boned features and thick blonde hair. Amelia had however, noticed he had his father's mouth and later learn he also shared some of his mannerisms. He must have been home to help his parents because his study season was not yet finished. Amelia felt for Lucas, she had known him all his life and his parents were always an emotional burden he never wanted to share.

Watching him stand at a distance from all the motion, she had a sliver of a thought. An idea that was indeed wicked, selfish and wrong. She could help Lucas forget his troubles while solving some of her own and no one would ever know the truth, how she really ended up in her condition. She breathed deep and wondered if Lucas had some schooling other then his studies while at college.

000

"I said siblings don't work well together," Hudson repeated with a more forceful tone. Lucas did not break his stare but he was shaking his head in disbelief, there was obviously a mistake somewhere in what Dr. Perry had conveyed to Hudson.

"Sir, Jed is my son not my brother," Lucas corrected. Hudson frowned. He had been assured of the information given to him, that it was 100%. It had to be before he could confront anyone who considered themselves career Navy because such revelations can be a dangerous thing. No, he was right it was Lucas that was mistaken.

"No Lucas, genotyping of your blood indicates sibling by relation of the father, direct inheritance of the Y chromosome." Hudson was direct and his tone was absolute, he even sounded like he knew what he was talking about. As the facts left him Hudson realised he did not give himself much time to contemplate the consequences of what he was saying. What that actually meant for Lucas and his relationship with his father if he was the one that was right.

Lucas was absolutely shocked. He broke his challenging stare with the captain and let his eyes fall on the warm wooden tabletop. The skin on his head felt like it was crawling as the sensation waved down his neck into his shoulders and chest. Sitting so very still, Hudson actually wondered if Lucas had stopped breathing. His eyes begin to fill with tears as he pieced everything in those few years back together. More then anything he remember how she laughed whenever she talked to his father. It was a full, rich laugh she never gave anyone else. Not long after Lucas returned to collage his father informed him he would be going to _seaQuest_ with no real explanation other then "it will be good for you" and then not long after that, contact with his father became limited to near impossible.

The silence was filled with a heavy sadness. Hudson moved to sit next to Lucas. He softened his presence and placed a supportive hand on Lucas' forearm. This is not the direction he expected the conversation to take at all. It just didn't seem like he was supposed to clarify exactly what Lucas thought his relationship with Jed was.

"Guilt," Lucas finally said. His voice was soft and full of shaky nerves. Hudson did not say anything. It was a little known fact that he was an excellent listener, and as he had no experience on counselling uncovering family secrets, that's all he could do for the moment.

"That's why he doesn't talk to me, he's guilty," Lucas continued as he thought about how long his father had known he had a half brother, or even if he knew that Jed could have been mistaken for Lucas' own child. The whole situation was now so messed up Lucas felt physically sick.

"Sir, I would like to request personal leave effective immediately," Lucas asked. Hudson was hesitant to let Lucas leave the ship because of _seaQuest's_ position in this conflict, he needed all his senior command staff, but he could see Lucas was just not present. He needed to deal with this now before it ate him alive.

"Permission granted lieutenant. I'll give you 48 hours to sort out your personal affairs," Hudson replied.

"Thank you sir." Lucas said grateful.

"What about this transfer lieutenant?" Hudson wasn't letting Lucas get out of all of this.

"What about it sir?"

"Who am I going to transfer?" Hudson was almost daring Lucas to not pick Jed by simply laying the question out for him. Lucas knew exactly who was going.

"Lieutenant Talus sir." Lucas answered coldly. Lucas became instantly resentful of what Jed was and what he represented. Suddenly he didn't care for Jed's career ambitions, he was about to get a lesson in rivalry and what it really meant to compete with Lucas. Like hell he was giving up his home for this.


End file.
